im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize