my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
