I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
