i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
