STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Randomize
