ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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