Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
