everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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