Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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