similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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