i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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