How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
