Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize