i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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