After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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