all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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