I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
