Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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