Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
