Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize