Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
