All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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