am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
