The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
