Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
