gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
