yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
