Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
