that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
