He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
