Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize