I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
