all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dick very happy bro
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
