thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
