so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
