I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
