I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
