Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize