A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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