oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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