I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
