My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
