Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
