I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
