I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize