so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
