Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
