Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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