I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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