Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
