Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
