It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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