I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
