I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
