I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
