When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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