It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
