dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I see more hoeing in ur future
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize