And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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