How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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