no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
