he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
