can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
