i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
