Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
