she was so not down for the gang bang
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
