Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Did I show you my penis last night?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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