you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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